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 Friend.Girlfriend.Enemy?

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simplyAf
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PostSubject: Friend.Girlfriend.Enemy?   9/2/2009, 9:32 pm

First time posting on a forum, *thanks Austin*.
So, a long time ago I made a friend in the fifth grade. HER and I became really good friends for 5 years until we started dating in highschool. We dated for a year, while she was going to another highschool. After giving it a chance I tried to explain to her that I didn't think it was working out. After this she just didn't say anything and has not talked to me for many months. She won't really answer any messages or calls. I really want my dam friend back, should I keep trying?, what should I say or do to get my friend back? Is it worth it? Should I just forget about a friend of six years? confused
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You must
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PostSubject: Re: Friend.Girlfriend.Enemy?   9/2/2009, 9:38 pm

just stick with it dude
keep trying
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Anon
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PostSubject: Re: Friend.Girlfriend.Enemy?   9/2/2009, 9:44 pm

No, I don't think you should just give up. A friendship that has lasted that long shouldn't just disappear. What you need to do is arrange a time in which you both can just sit down, and talk about things. Tell her how sorry you are, and explain to her that you would just like to regain your friendship back.

I think if she cares about you, as a friend, or maybe more, she'll at least give you the opportunity to explain yourself, and get back her friendship.
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girlygir
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PostSubject: maybe   9/14/2009, 12:14 pm

While I don't think you should give up, you also have to understand where she is coming from.
It's hard to go back to just being friends when you've experienced more with someone.
Be patient, but keep trying. Maybe she'll come around.
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Me
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Registration date: 2007-12-23

PostSubject: Re: Friend.Girlfriend.Enemy?   9/14/2009, 5:12 pm

I once felt attraction toward someone... she was a pretty good friend, bordering about 3 years at the time... about the point I started harboring feelings, we distanced ourselves... it was rather therapeutic... It took a good month to finally stop thinking about her at least once daily. The feeling's died down since then, yes, but it hasn't gone away. Every once in a while I talk to her...but I still feel the beginnings of what I felt back then.

If the story harbors any insight, if your friend is like me....perhaps talking to you would make her a little uncomfortable...remembering the time you two were more than friends...longing for the past...and remembering the rejection. Every time you talk to her, you may be reopening the wound...or you may be giving her false hopes or, if she's dating someone, make her feel guilty or something...or perhaps she's trying to spite you. It really depends on the person.

That in itself, the emotions and so on, may be why she's not responding. Perhaps she thinks that by not responding, you'll forget about her and she can be rid of the remembrance. Or maybe she's just plain angry.

Approach her with an open heart and an open mind. Be open to her feelings and be ready for the worst. Perhaps a house visit is in order: she can't exactly ignore you then. It seems that you two really need closure. Be sympathetic, come with a list of things to talk about (not written, I'd assume...but mental). Ask about how she really feels...perhaps probing at the worst possibility first- that she hates you for dumping her...then move on to several other possibilities until she tells you what's up.

This from a loveless nerd. May your pursuits be fruitful. A friend from elementary school is a powerful bond to share. Much has passed between you in the years that you've endured, and you've come to understand each other well enough. I know for a fact that my elementary school friends I've kept in touch with are well attuned to my subtleties and can understand quite a bit that nobody else can...or would ever pick up.

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